THE OBESE LADY.

The obese lady.
Once, there was a fat lady who lived in LA. She was too lazy to do anything. All day, she would scream and shout, “Bring me some food, I am hungry!” One day, a health inspector visited. There were rats running everywhere, and a 2 inch thick layer of dust lay everywhere. “Sorry ma’am, but we don’t let people live in these conditions anymore.” The obese lady’s face went a dangerous purple. “I don’t give a damn about what you say, but I am perfectly fine in these conditions!” A swarm of mosquitoes had started to wage war on the flabby stench of the obese lady’s body. Wave after wave of mosquitoes were dying. “I am sor-(cough)-ry but I will ha-(cough cough cough)-ve to call the government and have you evicted.”
“NO NO NO NO NO!!!”
“I’m sorry ma’am, but I have to tell the government.” The health inspector ran out of the house, and straight in to the council’s office. “Mr Councillor, Mr Councillor! Sir, Sir, there’s an obese fat lady living the most illegal conditions! And she is fighting mosquitoes that hate her cause of the stench!!!”
“You’re joking.”
“No Sir.”
“THIS IS A NATIONAL CRISIS. CALL IN THE K9 UNIT. CALL IN RIOT SQUAD. CALL IN HEAVY ARTILLERY. JUST GET RID OF THAT WOMAN.”
90 MINUTES LATER.
“The mayor of LA has nuked an apartment block for no apparent reason. All citizens were evacuated before the initial blast, but one woman refused.”